Why I Stopped Playing Church

When I was a little girl, our family lived in a parsonage (a home owned by the church in which the pastor’s family resided.) Ours was an old 5-bedroom house, built in the early 1900’s. An enclosed porch graced the front our home and was big enough for a small table and chairs, a couch, and a podium. I don’t know why or how this wooden stand came to rest in the veranda, but there it was inviting this playful girl to turn the porch into a church and hold services.

Being blissfully unaware of my denominations’ feelings about women pastors, I held marriage ceremonies for my stuffed animals and preached sermons for whichever neighborhood

children desired to play church with me. (I even baptized “Scottie” the pet mouse of my friend, Carol. Sadly, I also had the privilege of performing his burial service – however those took place in Carol’s house and yard. I guess you could say I was a traveling preacher.)

Now I’m married to one – not the traveling kind, but the “regular” kind who serves God’s church faithfully to the best of his God-given abilities.

Thank God he is the preacher and I am not.

This past June marked his 25th year in ministry. It’s been both a blessing and curse at times. And, I don’t think he’d mind my saying so, often the struggles have outweighed the blessings, and occasionally, I believe he wanted to throw in the towel.

And I wouldn’t have minded. And at times, well, I’ll admit – I even prayed he would.

If you’ve been a Pastor or are married to one, you may be able to relate. Pastoring a church has many joys but it can also be wearisome.  Trying to meet everyone’s needs. Keeping up the enthusiasm for the few who really work hard in the church. Keeping Bible studies fresh, seeking the latest program for this or that. (I’m sure my husband could add so much more if he was writing this blog.) We struggled with the church-hopping that happens among the members, trying to make everyone content, knowing we never really could.  We’ve heard all the complaints, “The organ is too loud.” “The church is too cold.”  “The sermons are long.”

Frankly, it sometimes has made me want to quit.

But then I’d think, “Then the devil wins.” And I hate it when the devil wins. So with a half-hearted “only if YOU want it God,” I prayed my husband would find his way out of church-work.

Until the night we had a talk. Not just any talk, but the kind that makes you take notice of what the other is saying because it feels so huge.

And basically I said, “I’m tired of playing church.” And he basically said, “Me too.”

You see, we got into this gig to share Jesus with those who didn’t know him. But found ourselves going through the motions – important motions, mind you – of leading worship, holding Bible studies, visiting the sick, and the like. But I kept wondering, what about the lost? Have we reached ANY? And if not, why not?

Mind you, I LIKE the disciples we serve a lot. (In fact, I love them!) They are really cool people, and I’m not just saying that because some of them read my blog. It’s not that we didn’t like our church!  We did!

We were just tired of “going through the motions” – trying to grow the church, yet still, somehow not really  growing God’s kingdom.

One more disclaimer: Yes, discipleship IS very important! And of course, baptisms and burials are vital – okay, maybe not for a mouse – but they are a vital part of the Christian’s life. Someone’s got to do those things.

But God calls pastors to do so much more. He calls pastors’ wives…. in fact, let’s just drop the labels right here…. He calls ALL disciples to go and make disciples.  

 So what did we do?  Nothing, really, except pray.  We didn’t know what to do. We knew we wanted to stop playing church, (at least we were on the same page), but we didn’t know what that meant, exactly. We didn’t know what God had in store for us.

Thank God, He was behind our restlessness, because at the just the right time, my husband attended a Missional Leadership training conference through PLI (Pastoral Leadership Institute).  I was busy at the time, so I didn’t want to go. These conferences usually revive my husband’s spirit, so I said, “Sure, go. But go without me.”

It didn’t take but a few weeks to realize this learning community held the key to what we had been looking for, longing for, and praying for.

It wasn’t anything “new” per say, no new teaching, no new “program” (thank God!) But a redirection back to the Word of God, back to Jesus’ example for reaching the lost. Our focus became less on trying to be a “successful” church (‘cause where is THAT in the Bible?) but growing God’s Kingdom (Hello! ALL OVER the Bible) and teaching our people to do that as well.

Since then we –  my husband, myself, and our congregation –  have been on a journey of discovery to find out – first and foremost, how can WE, each of us – reach the lost. Who are they? Where are they? How can I build a relationship with them and earn their trust? So that maybe someday, the joy of the gospel can be shared.

This journey has been the trip of a lifetime –  a daily mission trip to our neighborhoods, at work, on the soccer field – with no passports needed, no foreign language required, (although we attempt to drop the Christian-ese and talk -mostly- like every-day folk.)

I smile with delight as I recall pouring water over the white fur of little Scottie, but eventually my family moved away from the parsonage and I stopped playing church.

Four years ago, we, too, stopped playing church. No, my husband didn’t resign or quit. He still preaches, teaches, baptizes, marries and performs burials.

However, through God’s grace and guidance we went from playing church and transformed into BEING the church. To God be the Glory!

If you’d like more information on Pastoral Leadership Institute and being a Missional Leader, go to www.plileadership.org  

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Gretchen Huesmann

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