Put on Your Boots and Step Out of the Garden of Regret
“I wish I’d have brought my boots,” my sister muttered as we unpacked.
“We’re at a beach condo,” I said. “You won’t miss them much.”
I was wrong. Most days the January chill kept our flip flops buried in our suitcases. I also wished I’d brought more shoes than sandals.
Garden of Regret
“I should have…”
“Why didn’t I …”
“If only I had said…”
Recognize these phrases? They mark the way around a space I call the Garden of Regret.
Now if you know me you know I love gardens. Nothing brings me more joy—except the beach—than to spend hours perusing trails lined with all sorts of flora.
However, the Garden of Regret brings no joy, only repeating paths of wandering while pondering the past. Like being lost in the jungle without a map, we long for a redo leading to a journey with no exit in sight. Of course we want to learn from the past, the problem arises when we get stuck there.
When Regret Involves Sin
Let me be clear, sometimes regret involves wrongdoing on our part, and the God-given gift of a guilty conscious kicks in. Friends, that’s God’s GPS which directs us to confess, leads to pardon, and straight to the Garden of Grace. Now, there’s a place we should sit a spell, breathing in the fragrance of forgiveness found only by Jesus’ death on a tree.
Yet, some refuse that trail, and continue to circle in remorse.
Why We Remain in Regret
Why would we choose to stay in the Garden of Regret? After all, within its walls sprouts a fair number of failures, disappointments, fiascos, and letdowns. Not a lovely sight.
The Bible tells us there is an enemy who strives to keep us there.
During this Lenten season I’m reminded of two men who faced immense regret, each with a vastly different outcome. Both Peter and Judas failed their Teacher in the moments leading up to Jesus’ death. Both experienced great remorse. One could not find the way out and ended his life. The other suffered just as deeply but allowed himself to be led through the grief to a place of restoration and forgiveness.
The devil would like nothing more than to keep us entrenched in the stench of our sin and past mistakes. He uses situations long past to snag our garments and lure us to linger. What happens when we stay too long in this Garden? Sorrow and remorse flourish, choking our contentment.
Joy vanishes.
Peace flees.
Friend, you will find no fruit of the Spirit growing in the Garden of Regret.
Escape Route
How do we escape? When caught in the snares of the “should-a, would-a, could-a’s,” how do we find our way out?
First, acknowledge the feeling and voice it if you need to. It’s okay to feel the feeling. So, my sis wished for her boots. Who wouldn’t after arriving at the beach in 32 degrees?
Then, examine the emotion closely.
Is your regret a simple choice you wish to undo or is sin involved? If you’ve sinned, confess it. Does the situation involve another person and you need to apologize? Go for it. Doing so will guide you away from regret through arbors of forgiveness and restoration, and on to the Garden of Grace.
Perhaps you’re wandering due to a regrettable choice. I know the feeling. Long ago, I submitted a Bible study I had penned to a publisher. The rejection included encouragement to write for a small devotional. The sting of the rejection distracted me from the writing suggestion. Boy, do I regret that and sometimes meander back… If only I had listened.
Yet, God has a beautiful way of using our foibles for his glory and a better plan. He can turn our worst choices into a means to accomplish his will. Take Joseph for example. When Joseph’s jealous brothers sold him off, God used their scheme to bring Joseph to Egypt to later save his entire family. With God’s help, Joseph even forgave his brothers and declared, “You intended to harm me, but intended it for good” Genesis 50:20 (NIV).
Next time you find yourself wandering in the Garden of Regret, get walking! Confess, if needed. Pray your decisions will be used for greater good. Then put on your boots—or your favorite footwear—hike on out to fields of joy and peace and leave regret behind.