Hold On Tight

Last month I touched on the subject of “letting go” -releasing all that we have no control over. Letting go of past events, situations,  or worries. Letting go of guilt from sins that Jesus took care of 2000 years ago.

Since then, I’ve been pondering the opposite view, because I realize that although there is much we need to let go of and release, there are also some things that are worth fighting for, worth hanging on to – as if life depended on it.

What are those things deemed worthy of time, energy, and effort? Here’s a starter-list to get us thinking.

1. My marriage.

I started with this one, because, well, I’m crazy about my husband!  But also, because next to our relationship with God, it is  the most important relationship we’ve been given.

Think about it. Who else do we to make a CHOICE to commit to for a lifetime?  Who else do we stand with before a church – full of family and friends – and promise to “have and to hold, for richer and poorer” etc.  For many of us, marriage was/is our greatest childhood dream – to find Mr. or Mrs. Right.

However, with the divorce rate growing and the definition of marriage becoming skewed, many are not even saying wedding vows anymore. And among those who do, it’s becoming less and less of a priority for couples actually to do the hard work it takes for a marriage to stay healthy or to resuscitate a seemingly dead marriage.

Let me be clear here, I’m NOT trying to judge. I have never walked in your shoes and you’ve never walked in mine. However, the truth is, divorce is devastating to the family and in most cases, (but certainly not all), divorce does not end the problems.

As our children grew up, from time to time, they’d see my husband and I “have intense discussions, (a.k.a fight), and fight some more, and then make up. I think they usually felt secure, because we often told them, “Divorce is not an option in our home.” Period.

Now, I know what you may be thinking, “But Gretchen, it’s not always that simple.” I get it. That’s true, in fact, when it comes to any relationship, it is rarely simple.

There’s nothing “simple” about caring for a relationship that we vow to maintain for a lifetime!

There are three C’s  that are required in any healthy relationship – Commitment, Communication, and sometimes good, solid Counseling. Over the years, we’ve seen so many couples give up before they even seek counseling. Or they may try one professional, and if there is no progress made, they give up and say “We tried.” (If you went to a bad burger place, would you give up eating burgers?)  Keep looking until you find someone who can help!

If your marriage has already ended, I have one thing to say to you, I’m so very sorry. I don’t mean to offend you, and I know you must have (and maybe still do) hurt greatly over it, for I don’t believe anyone dreams of divorce on the day of their wedding. The end of one of our greatest child-hood dreams, marriage, shatters hearts.  That’s why I fight for mine.

Next on my list is kids.

2. My children.  

When my children were little and we were walking together, they learned quickly that my hand would hold tightly to theirs. But as they grew (and we became outnumbered), they had to learn to walk on their own.

So, when I say “I hang on tight to my children,” that doesn’t mean tightening the “apron strings.” Hanging on tight in their case often means letting go – letting them grow, make decisions, make mistakes, and make choices that I sometimes cringe at – and loving them anyway.

Thankfully this balancing acts begins in small manageable steps. When they were tiny, I let them choose between the red shirt or the blue shirt, but obviously I said, “No, you cannot choose to stay home from school because your favorite show is on.”

As they got older and wiser their options increased, as did their responsibilities, as did their input into life decisions, such as where to go to college. Now they are ready to make those greater life choices, such as where to live. My oldest son just moved into a down-town Milwaukee apartment. I’m happy for him (scared for his safety, I’ll admit) but truly happy that he is happy. My next one is talking of moving farther away “to see the wold” as it were. (Sigh)

Truth be told, I am so proud of my kids. Like most parents, I like to brag about their accomplishments. But not every choice they made have I applauded. However, I won’t ever stop praying for them, loving them, and forgiving them. No matter what they do, what they say, or where they go, I will never let go.

Marriage, children, let’s also add my health.

3. My health.

This one’s kind of new for me -at least as a high priority.  Before I hurt my back last year, my motivation to exercise or eat right was to lose weight.  Something I did off and on – after childbirth, after Christmas, before I pulled the shorts out for the summer.  Can you relate? The “battle of the bulge” continues, especially I get (cough) older.

But my back injury gave me new insight into WHY I need to continue to exercise and eat right. This discipline (which I will admit is really tough for me) I must hang on to, because, frankly, I never want to feel that kind of pain again. 

Recently I had my annual physical. When I told my doctor I’m trying to exercise, she warned me, “Gretchen I know so many people who, after they feel better after a back injury, let the work-outs slide and re-injure themselves.”

I needed to hear it.

If we want to hang on to good health, we must do what it takes to care for ourselves, whether it’s exercise, a massage, or a day away from the kids. Our own self-care needs to be a top priority.

Perhaps you cannot help the pain you are in. Perhaps you have an illness that has you in a battle for your life. To you I say, hold tight to the Lord as you suffer and fight. He has numbered all our days (Job 14:5) and He certainly knows our suffering. You are not alone. He will never let go of you.

In Deuteronomy 31:6 it says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified. For the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Thankfully, we have a God who never let’s go. But the truth is, sometimes I do.

Which leads me to the most important one on my list.

 4. My Lord.

Not that I ever really let go of His hand, but sometimes I try to do things on my own.

How much simpler would it be if I brought Him into each day, each decision, each worry?

Just as daily exercise is good for the body, so too, daily Bible reading and conversation with my God is good for my soul. It brings peace where there shouldn’t be any and strength to face the day. And the greatest bonus? He shows me what’s worth fighting for. By staying close to Him, His priorities become mine and He shows me where to put energy and what to let go of.

So what about you? I shared four important parts of my life worth holding on to. What in your life is worthy of your time and energy and why?  Please share them in the comments section below.

About Post Author

Gretchen Huesmann

See author's posts