Cyber Time vs. Family Time: Taking Technology to Task

“My kids and grand-kids will be coming for Christmas but we don’t talk anymore. Most of the time I’m competing with cell phones and hand-held games!” shared a friend recently.  

I looked at the group of women around me and saw nods of affirmation and understanding.

My mind flashed back to this past Thanksgiving. Yep. It was the same at our gathering. We did some talking, lots of eating, but more often than I liked, I witnessed heads bowed – no, not in prayer – but in rapt attention to Facebook, Solitaire, and countless internet-accessible games.

I’m not going to attempt to address the whys and how’s of this problem nor am I going to devote time to debate the pros and cons to technology. Of course we need our cell phones around, if nothing else, for taking pictures!

However, this sort of technology-over-use can impede precious family time, so I decided to brainstorm with other women, young and old alike, and consult a few techy teens for ideas to combat the clash of the cyber world with our family celebrations.

Here are a few of our ideas:

• Provide a basket or box (see Pinterest for ideas) at the door for guests to deposit their devices. This can be done as they arrive or just before dinner time, or periodically throughout your celebration. How far you want to take it is up to you.

How you implement this idea can be important. Will your people respond more positively if you give them a heads up ahead of time? Or do they react better “in the moment”? How you handle that is your call. You know your family best.

• However, I suggest you make it fun by offering incentives in exchange for their sacrifice. Give a raffle ticket for each surrendered device. Prizes can be given throughout your day or near the end of your day. Perhaps a special prize could be given for the device that never leaves the basket.

Note: my own teens found the prizes to be unnecessary. A better “reward” could be the winner is the first to be served dessert or gets to open the first gift.

• Another idea was to pay a “fee” to get your device back, even just to take/post a picture. All monies collected could go to your charity of choice.

Perhaps confiscating items seems too hard core for you.

Here are some ideas to embrace and involve these “uninvited guests.”

• Use your phone to text your loved ones who are on theirs. “Hi. It’s G-ma. Would you come in the kitchen and help me plate the cookies?”

• Plan trivia games or scavenger hunts that include searching the internet.

• Search for games that are interactional (real word?)and can be played as a group such as the Heads Up! app which is available for your  i product or android.

Most importantly, have other options available. The playing cards and board games should be readily accessible. And who can resist a puzzle that’s spread out and begun?

Finally, involve everyone in some fun question/answer games. 

I recently prepared a list a mixer questions for a women’s event.

Afterward, a young lady approached me and remarked, “Tonight I got to know my Grandma and Mom so much better!” You never know what you might learn about each other.

Whatever you do, keep your expectations realistic. Choose ideas that will affirm your loved-ones not anger or alienate them. Your goal is to grow closer to those you love and build relationships.

Before I wrap up this Christmas blog, I want to say a special “Thanks” to my Tuesday Morning Bible class and the other friends and my teens who shared their ideas for this post.

Now, it’s your turn. What suggestions do you have? Will you try any this year? What worked at your family gathering? Share them in the comments section.

Have a blessed Christmas and a family-friendly, technology-balanced New Year!

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Gretchen Huesmann

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