Pain: Friend or Foe?

I have a new “friend” in my life.  Day after day he’s with me in varying degrees. Sometimes more obvious, sometimes more subtle, but always there.

On my good days, I try to ignore him, careful not to irritate my constant companion. On bad days, he can’t be ignored.

Pain is his name.

Recently our family moved to another house. All the packing, lifting, and moving took a toll on my lower back.  Since Pain joined me on my journey he’s drained my strength, my activity level, my pocketbook, and especially my joy.

Wait! Before you abandon this blog, let me assure you, it will not be filled with complaining and whining. If you’ll bear with me, I’d like to offer a little “cheese” with my whine and share a few lessons I’ve learned living with Pain.

First,  it’s important to take care of myself.

Yeah, I know you’ve heard this before. I have too.  And the list of excuses is inexhaustible. We’re busy. We’re taking care of everyone else.  SO many things vie for our attention.  And here’s my latest, the older I get, the harder it is!

That’s all true, but here’s another fact for you: 31 Million Americans are suffering with lower back pain. In fact, it’s the number one cause of disability worldwide.¹ Did you hear that? Worldwide! I’ll bet you can name several people in your life who deal with this.

Our sedentary, computerized-everything society has decreased our physical labor and therefor reduced our activity which effects our mobility.

Bottom line? We have to take care of our bodies.  It’s not only okay to take time out for exercise, it’s vital. 

With that in mind, I also learned I don’t have to do everything at record speed. 

Seriously, this is what got me into trouble in the first place.  Picture this, our house sold in one weekend.  Less than a month later, we found our new home, and – here’s the kicker – with an earlier-than-expected closing/moving date. Time to boost it into overdrive!  I packed with a vengeance, and in the process blew out my back.  In one day, my break-neck-speed came to screeching halt!  Not only could I not pack or lift ANYTHING, I couldn’t even walk or sleep comfortably.  Even now, each physical move I make is made with great deliberation. I no longer rush, because I can’t.

Enter Major Frustration!

I’ve always prided myself at being a hard worker. I feel good when I accomplish something and relish the fatigue after a hard day’s work.  But that kind of drive can go too far. It can be dangerous to us, and frustrating to others, especially when you expect those around you to keep up. (Just ask my kids about Saturday cleaning days in the Huesmann household!)

Which leads me to lesson number three.

With Pain in the house, Pride goes out the window.

When I had to get the house packed, and the kids were still in school, I had to have help.  I had no choice.

Ugh, that was hard.

Who wants other people packing up your stuff?  Think about it. What’s behind your furniture? In your drawers? In your storage corners in the basement? It all had to go! I strive to be authentic and real with people, but this is takes being transparent to a whole new level!

Therefore, with a gulp and a prayer we welcomed wonderful folks from our church who wrapped, packed, and hauled our belongings.  Some brought us meals, others baked goodies, still others housed us or our stuff until we could get settled in our new home. I cannot thank them enough!

 So, why is it so hard to accept help?  Why are we quick to offer help, yet so very resistant to receive it?

Pride. Plain and simple.

It’s really laughable when you think about it!  We say, “I don’t want people to know I have dust bunnies and food crumbs and who knows what else hiding behind my furniture”- as if NO ONE ELSE has dealt with that!  And do we really believe the world thinks we’re perfect little housekeepers?

Well, maybe you are, but I’m not.  And guess what, after all was said and done, I believe those friends who packed and moved us still like us! Imagine that!

But they can’t help, unless we let them.

Probably the greatest lesson I’m learning is that when Pain comes for an extended visit, his cousin Depression can follow.

After we moved and were settling in, Pain persisted.  I hurt and it wasn’t going away, even with all the treatments and medications.   I missed being active and still do!  I started withdrawing.  I didn’t want to talk to anyone outside of my immediate family.  Even going to church took so much effort just to be there let alone be sociable. I wanted to sit in the back and dash out with the last “Amen.” (As if I could dash! Ha!)

We were in a new neighborhood and I didn’t even feel like meeting our neighbors.

That is so not like me!!

My joy was gone. I hate that!

My joy was gone, but I knew where to find it again.  It is a gift.  It comes from a Source outside of us, and it doesn’t depend on our circumstances.  Joy can be experienced in the best of times and during the darkest days.

Jesus is that Source of Joy.

His words to us in the Bible bring comfort to the suffering, supplying peace that passes all understanding. (Philippians 4:7) That means peace when peace makes no sense – joy when there is nothing to rejoice about, hope when the pain persists.

It didn’t happen overnight. But like the sun rays that burst through the clouds nearing the end of a storm, my joy returned in spite of the pain.

The more time I spend in God’s word and in prayer, the better I feel.  Though physical pain persists, my God gives me strength to face each new day.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not trying to minimize true clinical depression. Many struggle each and every day with emotional, psychological and physical pain much worse than mine. Counseling and or medication are options some need to consider. But don’t neglect the Great Physician. He knows your body, mind and soul more than you know yourself.

Finally, this whole experience has brought me one more blessing.

When I saw what simple back pain could do to my outlook and personality, I wondered, how many others feel like this? Who comes to church and escapes after a quick hand shake from the Pastor?  Who could I now reach out to with greater empathy?

Maybe physical pain isn’t their issue. It doesn’t matter. We can still we reach out with a kind word or with an offer to help. Their suffering, whatever it might be, may not disappear, but perhaps, it would be more bearable.

It’s weird. Since Pain first arrived on the scene, I’ve mostly whined and fussed, begging him to leave.  However, his visit has taught me a few important things. Thanks for letting me share them with you and for reading this to the end!

I now have a greater understanding of James 1:2 – Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds.

Ironically, Pain became a Pal; this foe became a friend.  I still would like him to permanently vacate, but I’m thankful for his teaching.

¹ Back Pain Facts and Statistics, American Chiropractic Association.  Retrieved from ^{http://www.acatoday.org/level2_css.cfm?T1ID=13&T2ID=68}

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Gretchen Huesmann

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